


Persisting Visions

by kitnkabootle



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 07:40:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitnkabootle/pseuds/kitnkabootle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternative look at some buried thoughts. My opinion of the real underlying fantasies of the Voyager’s Captain and Chief Engineer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Persisting Visions

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler: Season 2, Episode 08: Persistence of Vision. Some dialogue is taken from the episode.

\---

Persisting Visions

Kathryn stares at the stars as they pass by beyond the ship’s hull, a multitude of glittering lights so far from their location that she’ll never see them at their full stature. Around her the sounds of the few remaining crew members barely register in her mind. Her Starfleet mind, her present consciousness is heavily weighted with realization. The clanking of a plate here, the soft clunk of a cup on a table, the rhythmic hum of the ship’s engines; they have all become so secondary that they barely feel real.

Kathryn’s eyes scan the recently vacated chair before her. She can still smell her Chief Engineer’s perfume lingering in the air, overloading her senses. She knows that if she reaches out and places her hand on the cushion in front of her she will be able to feel the heat from the impression of the Half-Klingon’s slight body weight. Kathryn closes her long fingers, curls them tightly to quell the urge and then drops back into thought.

She thinks about mere moments ago when B’Elanna had leaned towards her resting her chin on her threaded fingers, “Do you think it’s true? That the alien was reading our minds? Creating images from our own experiences?”

Kathryn watches those fingers; skilled fingers that she knows have successfully connected the path between the hybrid’s brilliant mind and the computer consoles of Engineering and have saved the ship from annihilation more times than she can count. She is indebted to her Chief Engineer though she’s never said the words aloud.

“It seemed that way.” Kathryn managed to say as she met B’Elanna’s eyes. Those deep brown eyes that always manage to lead Kathryn blindly into their depths, holding her prisoner until she becomes aware in time to hide her blunder. If the Chief Engineer had ever noticed the long penetrating gazes, she’d never said anything. 

Unlike other conversations they’d had in the past, Kathryn had felt something shift subtly in the Half-Klingon’s gaze. Perhaps a brick had dislodged itself, maybe a wall had deteriorated. Kathryn couldn’t be sure what gave her the courage but she leaned forward towards B’Elanna. She took a chance, and felt her stomach tighten as her brow quirked and she all but drawled, “He had an uncanny ability to bring buried thoughts out into the open. “

When B’Elanna had said nothing, Kathryn had felt the severe inclination to backpedal; to draw it all together; to leave no stone out of place. “Why?” she had asked, curious as she saw B’Elanna’s averted gaze, her brow furrowed making her ridges seem more pronounced. Perhaps she needn’t feel the urge to flee, to trap what little emotion had escaped.

B’Elanna had looked to her, almost abashed. “It’s just… I experienced something I’d rather not admit.”

“I know, me too.” Kathryn had answered, leaving the actual experiences to interpretation. “But in a way, maybe he did us all a favor. Maybe it’s better to look those feelings in the eye then to keep them locked up inside.” It had been a proposition but not a risky one.

The telepathic alien had not shown her anything from her subconscious. There had been nothing latent about her attraction to her Maquis Engineer. A silent obsession was a more fitting name to call it, but Kathryn had never let herself enjoy it in the way the alien intruder had allowed her. What frightened her the most was her inability to resist it. If she’d had the choice to reject that reality for the present one, she could not be sure of her answer.

She remembers her own hallucination.

She’s on the bridge in the company of her officers and then she’s in her ready room alone. It seems like seconds, like a flash of light has turned the universe off. It feels like the snap of Q’s fingers – worlds and planets and civilizations all grinding to a halt.

The door doesn’t chime but it opens and Lieutenant B’Elanna Torres moves briskly towards her.

“Captain, can I speak to you?” she asks as she leans forward on the desk, splaying her fingers on the glass. Kathryn follows those fingers up femininely muscled arms towards the cascading dark mane of hair that falls on either side of B’Elanna’s exquisite bone structure.

Kathryn nods once but she doesn’t speak. It isn’t like her Chief Engineer to parade into her ready room unannounced.

B’Elanna looks flushed. Her soft full lips look lush, red like the bud of a Thakall flower on Nevasa II. Air expels from her lips as if she’s run the entire way from Engineering but hasn’t broken a sweat. She leans forward, her tongue wetting her lower lip and Kathryn can feel her cheeks prickling with colour.

“I know it’s not the right time but I can’t keep this to myself any longer.” B’Elanna is almost whispering as her eyes search Kathryn’s and Kathryn can feel the juncture of her thighs tightening with every word. B’Elanna’s lips are only inches from hers when she says, “I want you.”

Kathryn could expel the younger woman from her ready room and file a report for her audacity but she knows in her heart she’ll never do it. How could it even cross her mind? She’s wanted this for so long and has never felt her unspoken feelings reciprocated. Why is this happening now? Why is this happening when the ship is at red alert? Why is this happening when time is frozen, when the universe’s heart has ceased to beat?

And then it’s incredibly clear.

The telepathic aliens. This isn’t B’Elanna. This isn’t her dream coming to fruition. Kathryn’s probably still on the bridge, staring into the abyss like the others had before she’d tried to reach Engineering to stop it.

Even with this knowledge, knowing that this is not real, Kathryn can’t resist it.

The Half-Klingon’s lips are inches from hers and she’s staring into brown eyes she’s longed to be this close to since the Maquis had proved herself and made Chief Engineer. She still doesn’t speak, she can’t, but she lets B’Elanna close the distance between them.

The kiss is searing hot. It’s exactly as she’d imagined it would be. B’Elanna’s all flesh, all heat and all tongue and Kathryn is enraptured. Their mouths move easily and Kathryn kicks her chair backwards, standing now with her hands blazing up the Klingon’s slender ribcage. B’Elanna’s fingers are in her hair, her manicured nails scratching across her scalp. She feels her hair being tugged backwards and her head follows, exposing her throat to B’Elanna’s eager tongue and skillful lips; to her teeth.

It isn’t B’Elanna, it isn’t B’Elanna…

Her own pleas of self-awareness go ignored. They are muted by the sensation of the top half of her uniform being pulled over her head. Other clothing items follow and Kathryn isn’t clear how B’Elanna got on top of her, or how she ended up flat on top of her desk.

B’Elanna’s muscular thighs are compressing against her hips and she can feel a wet heat pressing down on her. She feels like she’s going to go out of her mind. It feels like she’s not going to be able to bear anymore then the Engineer is already giving her.

That is until she feels the Maquis’ fingers entering her without preamble and without warning. Kathryn’s hips buck against her and her head bangs roughly against the glass. B’Elanna’s throat rumbles with a feral growl and Kathryn feels perfect white teeth sinking an impression into her earlobe.

Her jaw strains, her mouth falls open and she watches B’Elanna move atop her, her perfect olive skin glistening with each thrust. Her breasts lift and drop and B’Elanna’s features are scrunched into a scowl that Kathryn finds absolutely breathtaking.

It isn’t long before their breathing is falling into synch. Pants, cries and moans echo off the walls and Kathryn’s back is sticking to the glass desk beneath her. With the remaining strength left in her, she lifts her thighs and B’Elanna arches backward. Her fingers curl into Kathryn so deeply that ‘unchartered’ is the only word that reaches the Captain’s mind before both women are crying out so loudly that Kathryn is sure the bridge crew will hear.

But there isn’t a bridge crew. This isn’t real. She knows it. Just as she confirms it, wishing it weren’t so, she blinks and the scene is dramatically different.

She is standing in a turbolift looking at Chakotay. He is looking back at her with as much confusion as she.

She can still feel B’Elanna’s weight upon her. She can still smell the Maquis’ perfume and the scent of her body. She wants it back, desperately.

But they’re back to this unsatisfactory reality and the turbolift doors are opening and she’s no longer Kathryn. She’s Captain. She’s in the Delta Quadrant, 70,000 light years from home. She has a responsibility and that doesn’t involve worshipping every inch of her Chief Engineer’s body.

Chakotay presses his hand to the small of her back and they’re off to fight another day. It’s all over and Captain Janeway has no time to grieve. 

\-------

“Maybe it’s better to look those feelings in the eye then to keep them locked up inside.”

The words settle with an almost audible thud as B’Elanna watches her Captain intensely. She could almost believe that Kathryn is insinuating something far greater than the words she is saying.

B’Elanna’s mind is reeling with possibility, but she laughs off her own foolishness, “I guess I’ll have to think about that.”

B’Elanna wants to say more but she can’t bring herself to break the moment. Kathryn is speaking to her honestly, as a friend not as her Captain. She’s always wanted to know Kathryn outside of Starfleet and it suddenly feels like she’s able to do just that. It feels precious, breakable. She doesn’t want to risk saying something she will regret. She can’t risk losing that closeness with Kathryn Janeway.

In an act of self-preservation, B’Elanna stands “Well I have an early watch tomorrow so I better to turn in. Goodnight Captain.”

B’Elanna circles around Kathryn’s chair and resists the urge to make contact. She wants to touch her shoulder, feel her skin, know that this is real and not imagined. She doesn’t. She closes her fingers and holds them at her sides.

Kathryn’s voice is rough, seductive. “Goodnight B’Elanna. Sweet dreams.”

B’Elanna feels her heart beating, her blood at a boil in every part of her body. Something seems possible. She might be able to say what’s on her mind without reproach. She might be able to tell Kathryn that she’s thought of no one but her in as long as she can remember.

She’s almost ready to say it, her heart is thudding and her head is pounding but all that comes out of her lips is “Thanks, you too.”

Kathryn turns back towards the glass and B’Elanna leaves, resisting the urge to stay.

She doesn’t remember much of her walk back to her room but when she gets there it suddenly feels unsafe. The doors close behind her and she leans against them. Her fists bang against the surface beside her and she feels tears prickling at her eyes.

Her mother would be disgusted at her dishonor.

She sinks to the floor her legs arched before her, her arms encircling them protectively. The ridges of her forehead press against the tops of her knees and she thinks back to the hallucination she’d experienced earlier.

She is standing in Engineering, keying in the sequence to prepare the resonance burst from the warp core. The fate of the ship rests in her hands and she knows she cannot fail. Her fingers move quickly over the console as if she’s done this a hundred times.

The doors to Engineering open and she briefly looks up from her work. It’s the Captain. B’Elanna can feel her chest tighten and she looks back down to display screen.

“B’Elanna…” Captain Janeway begins, running towards her. Her hair is down and B’Elanna imagines it was shaken lose during the attack. B’Elanna has always loved her hair down.

The Captain watches her through steely blue eyes “How soon can you start the resonance burst?”

B’Elanna slouches forward, her fingers moving even more quickly across the controls, “It should be any minute…”

She feels Kathryn’s cold hand closing over hers, stopping her motions. B’Elanna looks up at Kathryn, surprised by her actions. “Captain?”

“Stop. This isn’t going to work.” Kathryn intones her voice low and close to B’Elanna’s ear. How did she get that close?

“It is, Captain. It’s worth a try…” B’Elanna starts but she feels Kathryn’s other hand grazing up her thighs from behind. B’Elanna can feel Kathryn’s palm between her legs, her fingers circling the sensitive area through the cloth of her uniform.

“Captain!” B’Elanna cries out, half in surprise and half in sybaritic pleasure.

“Shh… enjoy this Lieutenant…” Kathryn rasps into her ear and B’Elanna turns abruptly in her arms.

Kathryn’s lips are at her throat, her jaw, her ear. Her silky long hair is tickling her collarbone. She can feel her pulse racing as the Captain administers a firm nip at the sensitive flesh on the column of her throat. She can’t help but moan and is electrified when she feels the Captain react in kind, the vibration of her lips burning her skin.

“Captain…” B’Elanna tries to protest but Kathryn silences her with a kiss that sends every nerve in her entire body alive with an electrical current.

The next thing B’Elanna knows, she is being pressed against a console with Kathryn’s hips between her legs forcing them apart. They are kissing and B’Elanna can’t remember a time when she’s ever been this alive. She feels the Klingon side of her ancestry itching to get out. To tear Kathryn’s uniform off, to throw her on the ground and have her way.

But B’Elanna can’t move. The Captain is overpowering her and her slim fingers are clutching B’Elanna’s breasts, molding the delicate flesh. B’Elanna’s teeth dig into Kathryn’s clavicle and suddenly the Captain’s dexterous fingers are entering her.

She isn’t exactly sure how it’s even possible but the feeling is there between her legs and it’s unmistakable. This action elicits a growl from behind B’Elanna’s back teeth and Kathryn smiles wickedly from above her.

In the blink of an eye, it is all gone.

B’Elanna is slouched in Engineering, her cheeks burning as Kes is helping her up. She trains a phaser on the alien entity lying against Engineering’s grated floor. She hears the doors behind her and Kathryn is sprinting into the room, her attention trained on the intruder.

B’Elanna feels her throat tighten at the realization that it was all a hallucination. When Kathryn turns to look at her over her shoulder, B’Elanna can’t meet her eyes.

\----

Kathryn lies in bed contemplating her conversation with B’Elanna in the confines of her darkened quarters. She can’t sleep. She can do nothing but turn over the exchange in her mind. What all had been left unsaid? Had she imagined the change in her Chief Engineer’s behavior?

Before she can think about things more clearly, her door chimes.

Kathryn is certain that it’s an ungodly hour and confirms this with the computer.

“The time is 0200 hours.” The computer chirps as Kathryn rises from her bed and pulls a silk robe across her matching pink nightgown. She knows it’s not an emergency because it didn’t come by COMM but she can never be sure.

Whatever it is, it has to be important. She orders for a dim light in her entrance way and speaks a soft, “Come.”

B'Elanna is standing in the light from the corridor, partly silhouetted by it. She is wearing dark red sleeping clothes, and Kathryn can’t help but notice how much the Starfleet uniform leaves to be desired. B’Elanna’s body is slender, deceptively small but lined with muscle.

Kathryn opens her lips to speak but B’Elanna beats her to it, “I’m sorry Captain. I didn’t mean to wake you. I didn’t know if you’d be sleeping, I didn’t think – I’m not sure why I’m here.”

B’Elanna looks as though she’s expecting to be berated for her late night visit and is clearly frustrated by her own behavior. Kathryn on the other hand can’t help but smile.

The expression surprises the half-Klingon and she quirks her head to the side, unsure of what to do next. Kathryn steps forward and places her hand on the younger woman’s shoulder, gliding it to the middle of her back and gently guiding her inside, “Maybe it’s time to uncover some of those buried thoughts.”

B’Elanna nods slowly and just barely leans into Kathryn’s thoughtless caress as the door to the Captain’s quarters close behind them.

\---

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Comments are appreciated!
> 
> Disclaimer: Familiar characters and words are not mind but are borrowed merely to entertain.
> 
> Originally Posted on LiveJournal - July 26th, 2010


End file.
